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Live Christian Podcast Pamela formerly on tv & model transitioning to Motherhood @pamelajeannoble Absolutely loved our chat today, we talking about faith, motherhood & marriage!

Posted by Robin Saylor on

Salted Words Podcast - Coming to the table with Bold Grace & Salty Truth going live with Real People & Real Stories
@pamelajeannoble Absolutely loved our chat today, we talking about faith, motherhood & marriage!
Hello.
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Hi. How are you? We are just two minutes late. Yes. Happy Tuesday.
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Okay. I'm gonna message I'm going to message our guest. We are having Pamela back on today because we
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didn't have any sound last weekend and or last week during our podcast and it was an awesome talk. She is full of
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wisdom and full of um she told her testimony and how far her
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family has come and yes you guys are going to love every minute of it.
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Well, did you tell them? I was trying I was asking her if she's ready. We didn't have We had sound at this part, but as
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soon as she came on, the sound went away and we didn't know it.
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Somebody said, "I don't hear anything." But then so many people were talking and
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nobody nobody else said they couldn't hear. So we just figured it was just one person. So we're going to have a replay.
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Yes.
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And it's going to be good. I actually She'll be here in just a few minutes. So
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yeah, thanks for everyone. Oh, there she is.
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Yes, I'm gonna have my phone ready to go. I hope you all had a lovely weekend.
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Hello, pretty girl. Hi. Hello.
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We're gonna test the We're gonna test the sound this time.
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Yeah. Please, someone tell us if you can hear us. I have an AirPod in. We're gonna try something different this time.
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We're gonna test this out really quick. I'll go here. I'll go I'll go to us.
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Let's see here. How are you doing? I'm good. How are you? We're doing wonderful.
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It was a little running around to get here on time. So, same.
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Okay, we can hear. We're good. Awesome.
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So, I know that it's going to sound a little um repetitive on our end.
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However, I loved our talk that we had and I would love to be along the same lines as that as well.
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So, um if you want to give a little short biography of who you are and um we'll start from there.
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Yeah. So, um I started off I guess where people could
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say they might know me from was um I was acting and modeling at uh I was acting at a young age. I started modeling
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around 20 and was on shows like Fuel TV for some years and did some movies and
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commercials. Um but a lot of people know me from meeting my husband on a TV show
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called Below Deck. And so we filmed that uh filmed another season of Blow Deck and then um filmed a show on CMT
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together as well. Um but then I got pregnant with my son and COVID happened
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and now I am a stay-at-home mom and uh homeschooling and all the things. So it's a very big shift of events.
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Yes.
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It is not your everyday run-of-the-mill actress, model turn, stay home, homeschool mom.
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Yeah. And and I know that everybody in the entertainment industry or Hollywood would like completely frown upon it. So, it's even better because I can be like,
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well, you know, everybody can do what they want to do.
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So, right. And in all actuality, Robin and I were talking about this this morning.
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You're living the good life. It's just that somehow people don't recognize it as that these days.
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Well, and even I didn't when I was in it, right? Because you have done something for so long that that's what
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you expect your life to be. I mean, I know nobody got to hear it last time, but I was casting for a huge TV show
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that would have been lifechanging had I got it all the way to production round when I found out I was pregnant with my son. And so when you're in it, you know,
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you've just worked so hard that every time you get something new, you're like, "Oh, this is my next big break. This is my next big break. Every time something
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comes around." Um, but we were always on the go. I mean, my husband and I were always together. We I always took him to
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every event, any red carpet, things like that, but always on the go. like sometimes two to three red carpets a week because it was like you don't want to miss that opportunity of somebody
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seeing you and then you get like the next thing. And so looking back I'm I'm tired even like thinking about it
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because now it's like 9:00 and I'm like get me in bed and that was sometimes when we were like driving to an event.
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So, um, yeah, you don't realize how lucky you are to be in this life, I think, until you're in it because it's
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always going to be chasing the next big thing, the next, you know, thing that you can say you were in to talk about on
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the red carpets. Like, it's just a constant chasing and never never going to be satisfied because you look at the biggest actors in the world and they
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need that next thing to be relevant again. So, it's ne it never ends.
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Yeah. We actually didn't talk about all that last time. I like that you elaborated on that because, you know, it's
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even though we're not all in Hollywood, we're not all doing reality TV, chasing
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a dream that is not children and a family is very
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different no matter what it is. you know that home life is so much more stabilizing and
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we just we we overlook that these days whether it's good or bad or indifferent it is something that's overlooked.
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No, I think especially because you know I' I've talked to moms before and they'll be like I could never be a stay-at-home mom. Like I could never be
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at home with my kids all day long. And I get it because I have hard days with my
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son. It's not easy every single day. But do I want to put him in the hands of somebody else having no idea what
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they're going to teach him? No idea what their morals are, no idea, you know, what life lessons could be happening during the day that, you know, we're I'm
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not picking up on. So, it's always the choose your hard, which I know is like such a cliche slogan, but it's so true
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because it's like when I was always on the go, that was hard, too. You know, I was always gone, always busy, always going, you know, to bed and getting up
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six hours later. So, it's just, well, what do you want? Do you want to be constantly on the go? Never really with
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your family. Luckily, for me, I always took my husband to everything, but I can tell you that it's not the norm.
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the entertainment industry. Um, but yeah, it's just it's always, you know, what what do you see your long term?
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Because it's like, well, yeah, if you think, oh, well, I'm just going to hustle my career for 10 years and then I'm going to like, you know, enjoy the
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family. Well, you're miss you've already missed the opportunity of all the bonding time and you're gonna look back because I have the same conversation
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with my mom like she's worked her entire life, doesn't know anything different, and when she finally retired from this
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last job, I said, "The moment you retire, you're never going to hear from these people again because they need you right now. They don't need you when you're not there anymore." And it like
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within three months never heard from anybody else. And I was like, "Because the the career only needs you when you're there." like these friendships are going to fade. They're you're
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friends because you're forced into friendship being with these people every single day. But it's it's very rare that you come out of a career with like
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lifelong friends that you're going to stay in touch afterwards, right? Yeah. I've never even thought about that, but it's true.
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You know, I've worked I worked my whole life. I I tried to make my job while my kids
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were at school, you know, once they were all in school. But it's I mean, if I see some people that I used to work with, of course, I would say hi
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and chitchat, but I mean, we don't do anything.
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Well, and too, like I remember when I had my first daughter, my husband was like, "You are not working. Absolutely
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not." like not gonna happen. I Good for him.
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Terrified. Like I am like a really active person. I've always worked for everything. Like I was like, what am I
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going to do all day at home? You know, but now that I'm like, "Oh my gosh." Like tables have turned. I'm like, I
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could spend all day at home even when the kids are at school and still like maintain the house, maintain all the things that you need to do, you know?
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Well, I think to what you said, if you grew up working, because I started working when I was 14 years old and not even like just in the entertainment
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center, like I had a real job by 14 to like start making money. Um, if you grew up working and then you become a stay at
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home mom, I think you have a an identity crisis for a couple of months because I remember feeling like when my son was
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like a super obviously infant that I wasn't doing enough because I was so
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used to being busy having so doing something with my hands constantly. And so I had an identity crisis of like who
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am I now? And I almost think it's so good for moms to like be able to step back and step away from your career
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because your career shouldn't be who you are. And thank God we found our faith and everything else that's come along
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the way that kind of forced us in such a different uh position. But it's I'm so
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grateful that now almost unless we talk about it like you know on this that most nobody knows that I came from the
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entertainment world. They just think I'm a stay-at-home mom if they meet me on the street or whatever. Um and and I homeschool and things like that. And
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it's so great that it's like my whole identity is not anymore of what I've done or what you can look up. It's that
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I am a wife and I'm a mom and I don't know, there's just something about it that you feel so much more comfortable
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in your own skin because I don't need to rattle off all these things I've done to sound important to somebody that I just meet.
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Right. That's a really good point that I wish more
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young women would understand that your identity isn't in what you do. It is actually who you are
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being a mother. No, no matter what this world says, no matter how much this
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world wants to beat it out of us, I don't know any mother that would not say
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her children are the most important thing she ever did. You know, I don't know a mother. My mom said it.
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All of my aunts, everyone I've ever known that's a mom has said that.
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And you don't know it until you are a mom. Yeah.
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What I was about to say, it's not like when you die they say like CEO of Pepsi like on your casket. Like no, they're not going to put that on anything you
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do, but it's like it's been so ingrained in us that you need to put all of this emphasis on the
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title, on the job, all the different things. And so it's so interesting now.
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I think we are starting to come into more of a phase of like women wanting to be stay at home moms or homeschool or whatever it may be. But it was I think
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the feminist movement was such a different conversation than last week.
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the feminist movement has made like such strongholds that it's like we're slowly starting to rewind it. And I think women are like, "Oh, this is not like the lie.
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I I wanted to be sold, you know, like I don't want to be working 12-hour days and be stuck at the office and these
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fluorescent lightings." And um I think it's women are slowly starting to realize like, "No, this is not all it's cracked up to be." I think so, too. I feel that shift too.
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I talked to a lot of moms. I feel like is in that same track like this is our job like this is important and
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it's a lot and then when you try to work and then you know get everything going like there's days where I'm just like my
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head is spinning I'm like oh my goodness you know so I don't know like along with what you
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said with like the feminists like I think that we've just it's been a couple generations where
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We really have gotten disconnected from moms being, you know, so precious and their jobs being so important. And it's
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okay that that's who you are. You're a mom, you know.
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Yeah. Yeah. And I think the fact that you're never going to get those moments back. Like I'm lucky enough to say I've never missed one of my son's milestones
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and I've never missed one of my daughter's milestones and I pray that, you know, our our baby that's on the way, I don't miss any of he or she's
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milestones. So, I think that's something important, too, because once again, like, love my mom, but she's said, you
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know, I think she took six weeks off and then she had to go back to work or whatever and would drop me off at the babysitters off babysitters. And I'm
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like that I I just don't feel like that's something to say to be proud of.
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Like, I went back to work after six weeks. Like, that's just not something in my mind that it's like, oh, chip on
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the shoulder. I did it. Because to me, it's harder to be all day long with an
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infant child, which sometimes you have no clue what they want and you're just like trying to wrap your head around how you survive the day than getting a break
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for eight hours and then coming home like, "Oh, I've missed you so much." I don't know. Like, there's just something so different. And maybe that's just where we won't see eye to eye on things.
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Um, but I think that it's way harder to be in all of those hard moments with
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your children and get through them and then when they're a grown-up, you can actually say, "I take full responsibility for the human that they
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the great human that they came to be, you know, where if the school system and a babysitter rose your children, I feel
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like you should be giving them a pat on the back for doing it because they're the ones that were with your child the majority of the day, you know and I my
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biggest thing is I always tell people like I didn't have kids so that way someone else can raise them.
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I'm not saying like I don't want to break every once in a while because I there's people who will try to throw that in your face too because I'm mom
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247. There's nobody around us, no family, any of like that. Like yes, every once in a while, like once a month I would like a date night or like a
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facial or something, but that doesn't change wanting to stay home with them and trying to do the Lord's
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work, right? I think it's um something that came to mind when you were I champion
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cheer all of that on and I worked when my kids were growing up and I thought that's what I was
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supposed to do. You know, it was that was that it was that era, you know?
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this day and age, it's almost we're trying to break off the offense of women saying, "I want to
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be I want to stay home." And if you really if women that feel offended, if there's a woman on here that might feel
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offended at this, that work if you want to work. The the point
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is is that raising humanity is a big job and it's worthy and it's valuable and
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it's not nothing. It's not like you're just lazing about,
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you know, there's nothing to be offended about staying home or talking to someone that
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does stay home. Or maybe you have it in your mind that I think I would like to stay home and raise my children. You know, I'm ready to break that off of the thought pattern.
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Yeah, I think it's I don't think it's so much offense, but it's um a misconception if you've never been in
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either shoes. Like I am not going to say going to an office is not easy because I've worked the long hours, had the
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pressures on me, all of that stuff. So, I'm not trying to pretend like that's the easy way out as well.
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But I think when you are at home all day long, you have the,
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you know, the cleanups, the messes that like nobody's bailing you out of daycare of everything that happens throughout
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the day and you have to go through that every single day and it's becomes obviously like
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monotonous at sometimes. Um, I think it just brings you right back down to like
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the humility, being selfless, learning patience to a whole new extreme because I can deal with adults all day long.
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Like I have no problem being like boss woman, this is not okay. We need to talk about it. But when me and my son have
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something, you know, and I really have to like calm the face down, calm the tone down, you know, it's one
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of those things where it totally brings you so much humility of, you know, I have a lot to work on on myself just to
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be better at this on a daily basis. And I think that's what's kind of cool about it is you really do transition just
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being a mom on having to relearn, rethink ways, break generational curses, just so much when
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you're in it every single day that you get to really grow as a person.
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Yes. Yes. I I being a mom I feel like has been so um humbling and
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growing I guess like growing in who you personally are as a mother because you're right like there are times where
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it's like listening to a kid scream and it's like what do you do you know and it's like well um whatever you do as they're
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watching and looking and taking in notes And so, yes, it's very true.
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I I tease I tease my kids a lot. We, my husband and I, we have four kids. Two of my kids each have four kids and then one
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of my kids has two kids. So, there's lots. Yeah.
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And watching, you know, kind of being a little more on the outside. I just have grandkids, which Whoa, they are the way to go. They're awesome.
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But if if being a parent is easy for anyone, maybe they're not doing it right
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because it I watch my daughters and they're all exceptionally good parents, but it is a grueling experience sometimes.
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Very rewarding. You know, God makes them cute, so we love them.
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So, one part that I loved about our last conversation was you had told us a little bit of how your journey of
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finding your faith was. So, I'd love to hear a little bit about that as well.
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Yeah. So, it goes back to um the casting of that TV show. So, basically every
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time I was acting, modeling, doesn't matter at what age, I always had a normal job still. So I always still
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maintained something um so that way if times were slow or whatever it was or it' be at least flexible enough where I
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could still um do that. So anyways, my husband and I worked at the same company. I was casting for this TV show,
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made it all the way to production round, which is like the last round. They're like looking at, you know, the last few picks basically of who they're going to
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choose. Um, and I found out I was pregnant with my son in the emergency room of a hospital.
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So, I swore that I was going to be I told my husband like, "You have to take me to emergency room." Like, I'm about to have an emergency surgery. I don't
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know what it is, but like I was bent over in pain. That's how much like and I'm not a baby when it comes to pain. So
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anyways, rushed us to the hospital and so a couple hours later, find out I'm pregnant and I am like crying because at
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the time not saved, selfish, chasing the dream. Um, and I was like, I'm not going
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to get the show. And my husband's elated, like couldn't be more excited.
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Totally ruined the moment. Um but anyways, so cut a very long story short,
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didn't get the show, was about 8 to 10 weeks pregnant. Both of us get laid off
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from the same company. So just like devastation everywhere with expecting a new baby and like having to provide for
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a new baby. Um and we went through so many like ups and downs through those
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first couple of years. like my husband, he will tell people um now he's comfortable with it, but that he had severe depression.
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Um there was times where I was worried I was going to be a like a single mom, not because we were going to get divorced, but because he might do something um to himself. So, it was just really hard.
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Um, but I remember so both of us come from divorced families and I knew I did
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not want to get divorced like because we both came from divorced families multiple marriages. I had the conversation multiple times like before
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the wedding. Are you sure cuz I don't want to do this? And you're like, "Oh, we'll see how it goes until like the
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hard time pops up." Um, anyways, Aydah was born and I remember we were sitting
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in bed one night and we both turned to each other and I had said, "I feel like we should start going to church." And I
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didn't know how to bring this up because we both were sent to schools like I was sent to a Christian school, he was sent to a Catholic school when we were
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younger, but it was not instilled in the home. So kind of different upbringing than most people who get sent to
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Christian schools. Um so I turned to him and said, "I thought we should go to church." And he told me, "I've been thinking this for a while, but I didn't know how to bring it up to you because
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once again, we just aren't we weren't on that wavelength of like let's talk about faith." Um so we started going to church, found an amazing church in
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California before we had moved. Were there for I don't know, it was three or four years I think before the move.
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Loved it. got so deep um in our faith. I started serving there, we moved, found a church here. My husband now serves at
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the church that we go to here. I'm kind of in the baby stage where that's not
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quite a possibility yet. Um, but yeah, it's just been a wild roller coaster because I'll tell people all the time,
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like once again, if they don't know my background, it's like, if you knew us six years ago, you would not be friends with us because we're just completely different people than we were before.
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God has way of doing that despite if we want changed or not.
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Yeah.
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Um, yeah, that's I mean I love to hear people's journey of like how where they
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were at in their lives and how God changed them. So, and sometimes it's not easy to
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tell, especially when you've lived this whole life forever and now you just like a lot of times people don't understand.
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It's like I don't know. Just God is good. That's all. Yeah, that's what I do think is interesting is the
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loss of like friendships and some family members as we went through, you know, our journey of getting stronger in our
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faith. I think it's so interesting because you would never tell like an alcoholic, oh, you're still not
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drinking, but it's like if you're I'll literally hear it from like friends or family members sometimes like, "Oh, so you're still going to church?" Like, "Yo, we're
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still going to church." like nothing's changed. Um, so it's just it's so funny to me that there's like this weird
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stigma that because we're Christian now, we're going to like judge other people and I don't quite still wrap my head
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around it except in the fact that I'm like content enough in myself that I just don't it doesn't bother me anymore if somebody like drifts away or doesn't
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talk to me any because of it. But it is interesting that there's this weird stigma
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of if you are on a faith journey that all of a sudden you're like looking at everybody else a different way or they're looking at you a different way.
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Yeah, it is. It is interesting.
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It's I don't know that I've had anyone walk away from me. I've had people I feel
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like don't really want to maybe come to our gettogethers or because they
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think that even on the lightest side that our lives maybe are boring and I have told so many
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people Jesus is the last thing that is boring. He is the exact opposite
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of boring Christian. God is, you know, all through the Bible there's celebrations.
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All through the Bible, there's festivals. There's feasts. There's also fasting. There's times of, you know, being solemn.
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But that is, you know, kind of a rhythm of life anyways. It's being a Christian.
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You're called to something higher.
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Well, I think there's a weird thing that, oh, I'm not going to be able if you're in this lifestyle, I'm not going to be able to party. I'm not going to be able to drink. I'm not going to be able
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It's like, but your life is going to be so much better. Like we, my husband and I just had our wedding anniversary yesterday and we were we rarely do day
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nights, but we had the kids watch last night and we were sitting and talking at dinner and he said, you know, sometimes I'll see a
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commercial about like Vegas. And I'm like, oo, that sounds good. And he's like, but then I'll think we'll be at
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home and it's like 900 p.m. and I'm ready to go to bed. And I'm like, probably not so good.
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But it's so so funny. It's like, you're not going to want to do the same things that you used to do because you'll see how like worthless they were, you know?
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Like we were always out. We used to drink, not excessively, but we would drink. And like same thing. I think
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people now like, "Oh, I don't drink." And it's like, "Well, what do you mean you don't drink?" And like they get uncomfortable. It's like we have a whole
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thing of alcohol. Like if somebody comes over, we're not saying you can't drink or I'm just saying I don't drink. I've been pregnant and breastfeeding for like
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four years now, you know? Like I'm not drinking, right?
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Um but it's just so it's it's so funny how it's like once again that like stigma. It's like no, you're if you
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actually meet the Lord, like your life is going to change in such an incredible way. Like I said, like I don't recognize the person from six years ago. And my
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husband sure doesn't recognize himself from six years ago, but I look at my husband on our anniversary and I'm like, "Oh my gosh, you're such an incredible
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man, and I thought I loved you then and I love you so much more now." So, it's just, you know, I think once again, it
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takes someone to be in it to even like see the beauty of it all. Oh my goodness. So much so. I love that.
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I have this little I have this little internal joke with myself that it makes
29 minutes, 41 seconds
me giggle all the time. Everyone Everyone, whether they admit it or not,
29 minutes, 48 seconds
they want to be around a Christian. They just don't want they don't want the label of it.
29 minutes, 56 seconds
Everybody wants you to love them unconditionally. Everybody wants you to be honest with them. Everybody wants you to be compassionate with them. Everyone wants you to be encouraged by somebody.
30 minutes, 7 seconds
Everybody wants all those Christian attributes in the people in their lives.
30 minutes, 12 seconds
They just don't want to label it Christianity, you know. Yeah, that's 100% true.
30 minutes, 17 seconds
Yeah. You saying that about your husband like you loved him before, but you love him so much more now. Well, you love him so much more now because Jesus is in there.
30 minutes, 28 seconds
Well, and because I see what a beautiful person he's become, you know, like he'll do things that like I think once
30 minutes, 36 seconds
again, you always have like this thing in the back of your head of who you married to like he'll shock me sometimes with things he does. Like he'll just like, you know, see somebody that's like
30 minutes, 45 seconds
homeless and we'll be eating and he went and like bought them a meal and he'll take him up to him and say like, "Can I pray for you?" and stuff like that. And I'm like, "Who did I marry?" you know,
30 minutes, 54 seconds
but it's like incredible because I'm like, you're my our kids are watching you and they're just learning so many
31 minutes, 1 second
beautiful things from the way that you act and behave now. And I probably don't even tell him enough, but it's just wild
31 minutes, 10 seconds
how far he's come and how just much he impresses me.
31 minutes, 17 seconds
When he was going through I'm I'm interested in this. when he was going through depression.
31 minutes, 27 seconds
Was that the beginning of his Christian walk or was that before his Christian walk? Uh, a little before and a little during.
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Um, he I mean we made a decent amount of money with what we used to do. Um, so
31 minutes, 44 seconds
that was obviously a huge blow. Um, and then it's so sad because we've been through like literally like this for
31 minutes, 53 seconds
five years now, but he um started working for a friend that we thought we were like very good friends with. Um,
32 minutes
and he worked for four or five months and this is like now very close to Aiden being born. I think he was like two
32 minutes, 8 seconds
months away from being born. Never paid my husband and then COVID hit. So like he was owed like4 like 40 or $50,000 for
32 minutes, 16 seconds
four or five months of work and we had already once again lost went from two incomes to one income thinking like oh well this is great he's still making
32 minutes, 24 seconds
good money and so it was just one of those things of like blow after blow and you know you'll hear people say like why
32 minutes, 32 seconds
is it that like the people who are bad people are so successful and then the people who like are trying to be good people are and I feel like that was like
32 minutes, 41 seconds
the mind flow that we were going through because it's like we're trying to be better people yet we're just getting knocked down and
32 minutes, 49 seconds
so we had I mean we're technically still going through it because we have a whole another business unfortunately lawsuit
32 minutes, 56 seconds
thing that happened with me. Um but it's so hard when you think you can trust somebody and once again you're Christian
33 minutes, 4 seconds
you're doing the right thing. you're um they're supposed to be Christian and they do something to you. It's like a
33 minutes, 14 seconds
very it it messes with your mind so much. And
33 minutes, 20 seconds
I think I even myself had probably a year where I could not trust anybody. If anybody even messaged me, I
33 minutes, 28 seconds
was like, "Are you trying to get information for this person?" You know, because it was literally I I just didn't know who I could trust because I thought I could trust this person. Um, so I
33 minutes, 36 seconds
think for my husband it was really hard during that time because his job loss was not completely
33 minutes, 46 seconds
justified. Then he had this friend do this to us and then he, you know, didn't get work for a certain amount of time and then he's feeling like, you know,
33 minutes, 54 seconds
he's not a good husband. He's not a good dad. Like all the things that men go through that I don't think are talked about enough.
34 minutes, 2 seconds
And so I mean pray like literally praise the Lord of where we are today because there were times where he would sleep
34 minutes, 11 seconds
until like 12:00 or 1:00 p.m. when my son was little um because of his depression. And now I mean he's up at
34 minutes, 19 seconds
6:00 a.m. leaving the house. Um we have a like a design and and flipping business. So it's called the flipping Christians.
34 minutes, 28 seconds
I think the name is cute.
34 minutes, 31 seconds
But he he leaves at 6:00 a.m. And it's he'll even say he's like, "It's wild that I used to sleep that long and now
34 minutes, 39 seconds
like I'm up and I'm gone and I'm moving." And I'm just once again I'm just so impressed with how far he's come
34 minutes, 46 seconds
and so grateful that I had it in myself to know that like just because it got
34 minutes, 54 seconds
hard does not mean I should give up on him because then we wouldn't be blessed with this life that we have right now. Yeah. Right.
35 minutes, 1 second
I think salvation with Jesus is instantaneous. The moment you say be my savior, I think that's instantaneous.
35 minutes, 10 seconds
But I think the conversion is a lifelong.
35 minutes, 14 seconds
You know, we never become perfect. The goal is to become perfect, but maybe not maybe not this side of heaven.
35 minutes, 25 seconds
And I think also especially being a new Christian because your mind is racing in so many different directions trying to get it right, trying to figure it all
35 minutes, 34 seconds
out. Like you've probably been told all these things about Christians your whole life, but until you actually practice it
35 minutes, 40 seconds
yourself, you don't really know. And so I do think it is a little different for
35 minutes, 47 seconds
men and women. Like I feel like, you know, when I became a Christian, I struggled in many different ways. And I
35 minutes, 55 seconds
see men struggle in and especially like being a new dad, being a provider, doing all the things that you're supposed to
36 minutes, 2 seconds
do. You're doing all the things you're supposed to do, but it's like, God, where are you? Like, why are all these things happening to me, you know? So,
36 minutes, 12 seconds
well, I heard somebody say once, not to cut you off, but it's like I don't want to forget it because it's so good because once I've told it to like multiple people now, and they're like,
36 minutes, 19 seconds
"Oh, um, the devil, if you were on the devil's side, he wouldn't attack you. If you're on his
36 minutes, 29 seconds
team, he's not going to attack you." And when I heard that, I was like, "Oh, that's a good one." Because when it is happening to you, you are exactly like that. You're just like,
36 minutes, 37 seconds
"Lord, I've been praying this prayer for like two years. like I would love an answer or something, a resolve, whatever it may be. But like when I heard it
36 minutes, 45 seconds
placed like that, I'm like, well, I don't want to be on the devil's team.
36 minutes, 48 seconds
So, if that's the case, like I guess I'll keep taking it at this point because I definitely don't want to be on that. But when I heard that, I was like,
36 minutes, 56 seconds
that's amazing. Cuz now when I have somebody tell me like, I'm going through a hard time and I'm like, that's cuz you're not on the devil's team. If you
37 minutes, 4 seconds
want to be on the devil's team, he he won't attack you anymore. Exactly. why they say like why do the wealthy people do all these bad things and they say
37 minutes, 11 seconds
well because he's on their team he doesn't need to attack them they're going to get what they want when they pass away. So, um, so it's just interesting cuz I, ever
37 minutes, 20 seconds
since I heard that, I'm like, that's like the best analogy to tell somebody because it's like, well, would you rather be attacked or go to hell? Right.
37 minutes, 28 seconds
I know what I'm thinking. I mean, yeah, it's blunt and true. Yeah.
37 minutes, 35 seconds
I mean, that is a that is a great way to think about it. We all go through.
37 minutes, 44 seconds
That is a good reminder because we all go through things, you know. I mean,
37 minutes, 51 seconds
to grow, you have growing pains. You know, the Bible says that God chastises those that he loves. And
38 minutes
you know, correction, it's like walking down a crooked trail with 20
38 minutes, 9 seconds
different outlets. You know, he's got to kind of keep you in line. And sometimes we don't like to be kept in line.
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Sometimes I don't like to be kept in line. That's 100% true.
38 minutes, 24 seconds
And I I do think the hardest things like while I was living it, I'm like, you know, God can handle us being upset, God
38 minutes, 33 seconds
can handle us not understanding and all that stuff. And I feel like in the hard times that I've had in my life,
38 minutes, 42 seconds
when, you know, God gets me through and I look back, I'm like, okay, I understand now. I know why that I had to go through that and I had to learn it in
38 minutes, 49 seconds
that way because this is how you designed me. And you know like I had you know me so well
38 minutes, 57 seconds
and so intentionally that I had to go through that in that way for me to understand.
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Well and sometimes I don't even think it's to like grow you through the scenario. It's like he's protecting you and you can't see it yet because I am
39 minutes, 11 seconds
still like I said in this battle that seems never ending of two years now and
39 minutes, 18 seconds
I have when I have talked to my husband about it I'm like what if this would have happened six months later into this
39 minutes, 28 seconds
endeavor and then we had $100,000 in credit cards for this company. You
39 minutes, 35 seconds
know, it's like there's so many things where God's like, I'm taking this away, but you have no clue like what I am
39 minutes, 43 seconds
protecting you from right now. And that's what I tell him all the time.
39 minutes, 46 seconds
Like when everything first happened to you, I was pregnant with my daughter and I'm like, "What if we would have had because you I I don't know about
39 minutes, 54 seconds
everybody else, but when I'm in it, I'm like, I got to think of all the positives because otherwise I will go crazy because you just go through the rabbit hole of like why did this happen
40 minutes, 2 seconds
and what's going on?" But I was like, I could have had a miscarriage. I could have been in so much stress if I was not pulled from this like environment that I
40 minutes, 11 seconds
could have miscarried with her. Like there's just so many things that we don't know that one day when we get to heaven, God will be like, would you like
40 minutes, 19 seconds
to see the possible outcomes because you should be very grateful right now with what I have given you? you know. Um, so that I always tried to think of it that
40 minutes, 27 seconds
way too because everybody goes through trials and everybody most of the time it's not one like I mean the past two
40 minutes, 35 seconds
years we've gone through like three or four different things all at one time but I just keep trying to come back to
40 minutes, 43 seconds
we have beautiful family. We have a roof over our head. Like who knows in two years we could be doing so well
40 minutes, 51 seconds
financially off that you know the person that did this to us is looking like I can't believe what they h you know like
40 minutes, 59 seconds
there's just so many different ways that I look at it and I've had to get to the point now too where even if we've been
41 minutes, 6 seconds
wronged which we've wronged plenty especially in business for some odd reason I'm like do we just have horrible judgment we just need to work together
41 minutes, 13 seconds
because clearly we just can't can choose people, right? Um, but I've gotten to
41 minutes, 20 seconds
the point now where I will pray for those people because I had a friend say like David prayed, you know, to bless
41 minutes, 28 seconds
his enemies. And it's hard and even if you have to grit it through your teeth the first couple of prayers, you need to do it. And now I can do it and like not
41 minutes, 35 seconds
even have like an ounce of like hate in my heart. And I think that's what's so cool about it, too, is as you grow, as
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you go through these things, you can release all the things and all the tension that your body would normally
41 minutes, 49 seconds
keep just by getting through it by talking to God and doing the things that the Bible's telling you to do,
41 minutes, 56 seconds
right? That's a great that's a great reminder. I'm very happy that you said that to pray
42 minutes, 3 seconds
for people that to pray for people that have done you wrong. You know, it does it it turns the tables inside of us.
42 minutes, 14 seconds
It makes us less hateful and less bitter. Well, yeah.
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Well, no, I was going to say and it's okay at the first few times you're like, "Lord, please bless this person." you
42 minutes, 28 seconds
know, because it's not going to be it's not like the first time you say it, you're going to come out and like sound like a pastor and like it's going to be the most beautiful thing you've ever
42 minutes, 36 seconds
said because you're still healing yourself, you know? So, it's okay if the first couple times you have to do it.
42 minutes, 43 seconds
You say it like that. But it also I think people think because you play pray for God to bless them or you forgive
42 minutes, 51 seconds
them, whatever it may be, that you have to forget. And that's not what the Bible says. So like since we're still going through a process right now like things
43 minutes
will be sent to us and I'm like absolutely not we are not doing that.
43 minutes, 5 seconds
You know what I mean? Because it's like there's still God's we still have a God of justice you know and we still have a God love to pair forgiving and forgetting.
43 minutes, 15 seconds
It is not the same thing.
43 minutes, 17 seconds
Or Christianity forgiving and forgetting because they'll say, "Well, you're Christian, so you should really like Yeah.
43 minutes, 26 seconds
And I'm like, also, my husband worked for all that money, so no." Like there's a fine line of of God
43 minutes, 34 seconds
saying like you should pray for them, not be walked all over. So I think that's I mean you can't learn wisdom
43 minutes, 43 seconds
without going through some trials and learning from things that have happened. Not that you didn't forgive them.
43 minutes, 50 seconds
Absolutely. Like forgive them. You're not holding on to it, you know, like but we are moving forward and I I I have
44 minutes
learned moving forward that we're no longer going to be working together or whatever the platform or whatever the situation. I do forgive you. Like I'm
44 minutes, 9 seconds
not I don't hate you. I don't hold this inside. I'm not whatever. But as for this, we won't be doing that together anymore. Yeah.
44 minutes, 17 seconds
Well, the Bible says that a labor is worthy of his hire. You know, I mean, the people that built the temple got
44 minutes, 24 seconds
paid very well. You don't if you want to if if you want to offer your services to
44 minutes, 32 seconds
someone in a charitable way, that's one thing. But for people to just decide that they're not going to live up to their end of the bargain because you're
44 minutes, 41 seconds
a Christian, I mean, come on now, people. You know, it just doesn't work that way.
44 minutes, 48 seconds
You'd be surprised though, especially, like I said, after all these years. And I think it's wild the Christian conservative movement because I love
44 minutes, 58 seconds
being Christian conservative. I'm never going to be that conservative person that's like all of a sudden starts bashing everybody in it. But what I will
45 minutes, 6 seconds
say after being in it, going to conferences, going to conventions, meeting tons of people, and then it got to the point where so many people knew I
45 minutes, 14 seconds
feel like I was the new one, but so many people knew so many things about other people in the movement that I finally was like, I don't want to hear about any of this because I'm just going to look
45 minutes, 21 seconds
at everybody a different way. Um, but I do think there is, and I'm not
45 minutes, 29 seconds
going to say it's a big majority because I don't think that's true, but I think there is a a a small majority of people who say they are either Christian or
45 minutes, 37 seconds
conservative because it makes them look better and it gives them a better look online and they are good at talking and
45 minutes, 46 seconds
good at portraying it. Um, and I think that's what's been the hardest for me is
45 minutes, 53 seconds
like you think you're all in the same movement, so it's like we're all going to be friends because we all have the same morals. We all like the same things. And I think that's been the
46 minutes, 2 seconds
hardest for me to learn. It's like, oh no, we're not all on the same page at all, you know?
46 minutes, 8 seconds
And that that's weird for me because I just think maybe I'm just too like out there on
46 minutes, 16 seconds
like who I am. I think that was a odd thing for me to to realize that there's people who portray
46 minutes, 25 seconds
themselves that but then don't live it behind closed doors because I just don't if you're even preaching about the Bible
46 minutes, 32 seconds
to other people and I'm not saying it's a pastor um but pre doing that I don't know how you can know what's in the Bible and then do that. It's so like
46 minutes, 41 seconds
it's a almost mind-blowing to me. And maybe that's why like we all watch like murder mysteries because you can't understand it.
46 minutes, 48 seconds
Yeah. When I was a new Christian that the injustice in that exact situation really really
46 minutes, 57 seconds
really affected me cuz I'm like that's not right. That's not right. Like what is happening you know? And so I totally
47 minutes, 6 seconds
agree with you. It was just like sincerity is extremely important. I mean God wants your whole heart and that
47 minutes, 15 seconds
means all of you and that is the truest form of sincerity. If you're
47 minutes, 22 seconds
I listen I was listening to a podcast yesterday. This is this exact thing where you were just talking about
47 minutes, 29 seconds
children that grow up in a house that their parents take them to church on Sunday but don't live out their faith
47 minutes, 37 seconds
the rest of the week versus parents that take their children to church on Sunday but live out their faith. The children
47 minutes, 45 seconds
that the parents don't live out their faith are more than likely not going to become Christians. And it's a really high number. But the parents that live
47 minutes, 53 seconds
out their faith, it's over 80% of those children that will choose Christianity for themselves. Wow.
47 minutes, 59 seconds
And yeah, it's just exactly what you said. It's, you know, how do you claim Christ and then not live it out? You
48 minutes, 8 seconds
know, I I mean my, like I said, that's why my mind still like it baffles me. It can't it can't compute at all. But like I
48 minutes, 17 seconds
said, it's the only way I can realize like why people are fascinated with watching like murder mysteries or like
48 minutes, 24 seconds
guilty is charged or like could the documentaries about Scientology because I'm like how do you people believe this stuff, you know? But it's the exact same
48 minutes, 33 seconds
scenario. It's like how do you do this on a day-to-day basis and go home? Like if that was that person's life, we would watch it on TV because we would
48 minutes, 41 seconds
literally say like I don't understand how you can go tell people things and then do this behind closed doors. And I think that's why people have a fascination because your brain cannot compute how that's possible.
48 minutes, 52 seconds
Maybe that is maybe um yeah next reality TV show, right?
49 minutes, 1 second
I'd love it.
49 minutes, 3 seconds
So, back to motherhood and becoming fairly new parents.
49 minutes, 10 seconds
Just for anyone watching, how has becoming a mother shown you the aspects of Christianity?
49 minutes, 23 seconds
How could you relate being a mother with Yeah, I mean I think it's definitely like I had said before like the
49 minutes, 30 seconds
humility, the patience, the um Yeah, definitely learning that not everything is on your time frame anymore.
49 minutes, 39 seconds
um selflessness.
49 minutes, 41 seconds
But I mean, to me, once again, being a stay-at-home mom, it's the seeing
49 minutes, 49 seconds
through the hard moments, the little moments where what you're doing is paying off. Um we're in a season of my
49 minutes, 56 seconds
five almost six-year-old. He's got a very strong personality, very stubborn personality.
50 minutes, 5 seconds
uh where there's times where I'm like, "What happened to my 2-year-old that just wanted to like hug me all the time?" Um, but there'll be times where I
50 minutes, 14 seconds
I'm I see it's clear as day. It was like two months ago and we were sitting um at the dinner table. my daughter was
50 minutes, 21 seconds
already in bed and I don't even know how we got on the subject, but we were talking about stuff in the Bible and um
50 minutes, 29 seconds
my son just started like rambling off like, "Oh well um yeah, Jesus was born to Mary and then
50 minutes, 38 seconds
he, you know, died for our sins and he was nailed to the cross and then he uh
50 minutes, 45 seconds
was put in a tomb and I was like, "Oh, and how long was he there for?" And he was like for three days. And then and I
50 minutes, 53 seconds
was just one of those things where like I started like tearing up because it was like oh you too listen to me when I talk to you.
51 minutes, 1 second
And it's like what it's once again when you have to go through those like struggles of like oh man do have I
51 minutes, 8 seconds
learned so much patience with this child because he tests me so much. Like I literally tell God all the time like I know you gave me this child to like test
51 minutes, 17 seconds
my patience because he is so stinking cute and can be so sweet at sometimes and other times I'm like why I used to
51 minutes, 25 seconds
listen the first time. Why couldn't I get a child like me? Um but those moments it's so like beautiful
51 minutes, 33 seconds
how you're like oh my goodness like all this time at home all this like you know reiterating things or we going over
51 minutes, 40 seconds
things is like finally paying off. Um and it's something
51 minutes, 47 seconds
that's so beautiful that you would not be able to experience if you weren't in it for the dayto day. You know, because
51 minutes, 54 seconds
once again, it's like, yeah, your son can come home and verb off something that he learned at
52 minutes, 2 seconds
school that day, but you didn't teach them that. You know, it's great that their brain learned it and that they can say it back to you, but it's not the
52 minutes, 11 seconds
same payoff as when you've been working day in and day out to get them on a certain track, you know.
52 minutes, 19 seconds
Well, and I think that the patience for mothers is a really hard one because there's so many times where like you
52 minutes, 28 seconds
pour out your whole soul and your whole everything to make sure that they're getting fed what they're supposed to know and knowing the Bible and knowing
52 minutes, 36 seconds
like them in their young years. So, they it's really ingrained in there. And
52 minutes, 43 seconds
yeah, I can't tell you how many times I'm just like they don't hear anything I say. They hear anything I say. They don't apply it to their life. They
52 minutes, 51 seconds
don't. And then like I'll hear, you know, them saying something to someone else, like not ever to me, but like someone else and they're like they know
53 minutes
all of the stories of the Bible. They know in detail how they went. I'm like, "Okay, okay. We can move on another
53 minutes, 8 seconds
day." Yeah. I mean, it is it's it's because we only go to uh co-op once a week and I'm not in his every parent has to
53 minutes, 17 seconds
volunteer. So, I'm in my daughter's class because obviously she's way younger. Um but same thing like we'll leave co-op like what'd you learn today?
53 minutes, 24 seconds
Oh, I don't know. And I'm like like it's not even just the school kids, it's like the home school kids too, you know? Um
53 minutes, 31 seconds
but it's it is so true. It's like when you even if it's not to you, but you hear them talking to anybody else, it's like the most like mind like
53 minutes, 39 seconds
mind-blowing thing must be like the theme of this of today because it's mind-blowing. You're like, "Oh my goodness, he's retained everything, you
53 minutes, 47 seconds
know? It's just he doesn't say it to me." And it's it's it's just such an incredible moment when that happens. What is co-op?
53 minutes, 54 seconds
Um, so basically it's like a school, you could say. Um but it's all homeschoolers
54 minutes, 1 second
and so we meet um the one that I'm in is like 30 minutes from our home and it goes from nursery to high school. So
54 minutes, 9 seconds
like my daughter's in it and it goes all the way to high school and it's separated into their classrooms. So they'll graduate with a high school
54 minutes, 17 seconds
diploma if they go all the way through high school. So it's giving them the school environment but not on a daily basis. And it's normally a shorter
54 minutes, 26 seconds
schedule from what I understand. like we only go till 12 unless he has 4. Um, so
54 minutes, 33 seconds
it's a once a week thing where if you still kind of want them to have that socialization,
54 minutes, 40 seconds
getting to learn from somebody else, things like that, then it gives you that opportunity and your kids that opportunity.
54 minutes, 47 seconds
I've never heard of that. That's Yeah, they're all over.
54 minutes, 50 seconds
They do like they have them here, but they're not called. I like that.
54 minutes, 56 seconds
Yeah, it's nice. Yeah, that that does sound nice.
55 minutes
Yeah, give it a little break it up just a little bit.
55 minutes, 4 seconds
Well, especially because I mean for me right now I mean once again my son's five going on six, but like we I'm
55 minutes, 11 seconds
basically every single day we're doing reading because I'm like I've told him I'm like so you learn how to read. Not much else. like not saying we don't ever
55 minutes, 19 seconds
like if he's interested in something we don't go like if he's sharks one day like we'll go learn about sharks but I'm like we have you have to learn
55 minutes, 27 seconds
how to read. Um so it's nice because when we go to co-op like he has like science Bible study and I think they're doing like geography. Um so he's
55 minutes, 36 seconds
learning these other things while I'm at home trying to teach him reading. So for his, I mean, obviously it's different as the ages go up, but for me it's like
55 minutes, 44 seconds
he's still getting other things reinforced until we get through that first little hump to be able to do tons and tons of things.
55 minutes, 54 seconds
That sounds that sounds ideal. Um, so we're about at the end, but I want to ask you, we like to ask all of our
56 minutes, 2 seconds
guests, and everybody always has something wonderful to say. Um, if you, we call it the golden nugget. If you had
56 minutes, 11 seconds
a bit of information that you would give anyone and you know it would change their life for the better, what would it be?
56 minutes, 20 seconds
Well, I still feel like I want to say what I said last time. Um, that, you know, the the grass is not
56 minutes, 28 seconds
always greener in marriage. And I feel like our other podcast was so much more about marriage. Um, but
56 minutes, 37 seconds
I was literally talking to one of my friends, we like one of our mutual friends fathers. We were at a party. Um,
56 minutes, 46 seconds
and he's been married for 40 years, all these different things. And he was telling us a story about one of his friends cheated on his wife after, you
56 minutes, 53 seconds
know, 20, 30 years. And it's like the worst decision he's ever made. And I was kind of giving him me and my husband's
57 minutes
background and saying like I knew going into this that I was going to
57 minutes, 7 seconds
keep my marriage vows and we've been through the hard times. It's not saying we're never going to get hard times
57 minutes, 14 seconds
again, but we've been through there's no money coming in. We have a child being born. Who how are we going to pay the mortgage? Like all these different
57 minutes, 22 seconds
things. Uh career changes. Um, so I we went through all of that and I know now
57 minutes, 31 seconds
more than ever my husband knows that my loyalty is to our marriage and our kids because he saw it firsthand when it
57 minutes, 38 seconds
would have been so easy to be like, I did not sign up for this and walk away.
57 minutes, 43 seconds
Um, and so I just think it's important for people to remember, especially if anybody watches who is going through a hard time in your marriage.
57 minutes, 55 seconds
It's not always going to be easy, but if you work at it, you can have something so much more beautiful than you ever
58 minutes, 2 seconds
imagined. Not to mention, you know, us both coming from divorced families, you're saving your children a lifetime
58 minutes, 10 seconds
of hurt of having to go through living with divorced parents because we both did that. Thank goodness we aren't like
58 minutes, 18 seconds
in therapy every single week. But it's the people can say till they're blue in
58 minutes, 25 seconds
the face that if you get divorced like your kids are going to see that you're so much happier. not the case because
58 minutes, 32 seconds
unless you are somehow it's the most magical divorce where everything is completely amicable and you never once
58 minutes, 39 seconds
argue in front of your kids there there's going to be some trauma and they might not show it right away but they're still going to feel it and know it. And
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that was my biggest thing was like I will not put my kids through that. And that's why I asked him so many times before getting married if that was like even an option because I knew if we had
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kids, there's no chance I'm putting my kids through the same thing that I had
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to go through. And trust me, the dating scene is not all it's crapped up to be.
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So, just get through what you got to do to keep your marriage alive. And it's
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okay also if you're in a season where you're not like getting to do all the fun things with your husband. Like we have a small baby and another baby on
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the way. Like we're not the that couple that you see on Instagram every week going out for date nights every Friday night. That's just not where we're at.
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But we know in like five years when they're all older, we can do that as much as we want and we'll have all the time in the world, you know? So it's not
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saying that we can't we're not going to raise our kids, but you know what I mean? Like it's easier to leave and they can tell you anything, stuff like that.
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So, um, we just always tell ourselves like this is our season and one day we're going to be like vacationing with
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our kids and getting to sleep in past 6:00 a.m. and this is just the season.
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So, I feel like as long as you can communicate with your husband or wife, you can have realistic expectations that
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you guys are both going through things and changing on a daily basis and knowing that you made a vow and you have
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to support that vow no matter what you're going through, then you will have enough of a stance to have a long
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lasting marriage. But if you let any one of those things go, then it's very easy to say, "Let's just get a divorce. it's
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going to be easier. And then in two or three years, you're going to realize it's not that easy. And and the people out there are not that much better than
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the person that you could have worked on things with and had such a magical love story with.
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I I couldn't agree with you more. I think that I really I I am an absolute
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champion for marriage. I think that there are very few things that two people with a determination to stay married can't get through.
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I think they're very maybe there's nothing because with God all things are possible. I was just about to say that.
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Yeah. And we we should have you back to talk about marriage because it's I I
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agree with you that you said earlier I you think that maybe mothers raising their children staying home is maybe
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possibly on the rise. It might be. It kind of seems like you're we're seeing it more. But I think that a conversation
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about staying married is the non-negotiable.
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That's it. you get married, you are tied together for ever. That's a that would be a great podcast.
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I mean, I would love that because I know me and my husband both like whenever there's couples going through stuff like we love to talk to them just because not
1 hour, 1 minute, 52 seconds
because we want to be like, "We're perfect. Come look at us in our relationship cuz like no, we're okay. We get in arguments too. We just don't scream at each other in arguments." But
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um because we've been through so many different scenarios in such a short amount of time, like I sometimes feel like we're like that old couple who can
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be like, "Well, when we were your age," you know, like because it's true. Like we've gone through such a like a massive amount of like, you know, spiritual
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warfare for five or six years in our marriage. So it's I like to talk to couples because I'm like if we could get
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through all of this when everything was stacked against us when like the world says if he's not providing get a divorce
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if he's not you know doing this get a divorce if you know I'm not working anymore then I'm not worthy so I should you know get a divorce and go back to
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work. There's just so many things that we've been through. And if we can get through that, like I like to pour into
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other couples because I truly do think once again that it's just been a societal thing that we've been fed like,
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oh, you're going to get a divorce and you're going to be so much happier and then you have to date again. And like I have a single friend. Well, she's been
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in a relationship now for a little bit, but when even when she calls me to like say something happened with her boyfriend, I remember this conversation
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clear as day cuz I said, "You are going to have girlfriends." And we've been friends since we're 18, so we could be very blunt with each other. I said, "You're going to have girlfriends right
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now tell you screw him, dump him." Um, I was like, "But I'm telling you, if you think you're going to get married
1 hour, 3 minutes, 29 seconds
and not have problems that you have to deal with, like you're insane." I'm like, so I'm telling you right now, if you think that
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this guy is worth it, then you need to have a talk and you need to deal with it because it's not going to be better just cuz you find a new boyfriend. It's not
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going to happen. And I think I was literally the only friend that told her that. Everybody else gave her the exact advice that I said they were going to.
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And that's what I think is so funny.
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It's like, you think you're going to get divorced and then you're going to meet like the most perfect man. Like, have you watched too many fairy tales?
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Because we're two different people. So, there's going to be times where you disagree on things where he leaves his
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socks on the ground. Like, it's gonna happen, you know, because you guys aren't the same person. And so it's always so funny to me when people say
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that because yes, there's going to be things that aren't always exactly how you pictured it. But when you work
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through it, that's what makes your marriage so much more beautiful because you can say to anybody who looks at you like, "We've been through the hard
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times. We chose to stick together and we still love each other." And I anytime a older couple tells me that now I'm just
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like we hope that we're you when we get to your age, you know, because we're going to be breaking both on both sides
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a couple of generations of people getting divorced, you know. So, if we can do that, then we're just helping our kids hopefully be able to say that for multiple generations after us.
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Yeah. I I love that. I It should be preached from the mountain tops.
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It should be. I I see a marriage convention. Yes. Amen.
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Yes. You know, marriage counseling like I love that you're so willing to encourage people to stay married because
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that that is not the you are right about that. That's not the norm. You know, you do one thing, one person does one thing
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wrong and the man's all of his buddies are telling him to leave her.
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All of her girlfriends are telling telling her to leave him, you know.
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Good for you. You be the voice of reason.
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My husband like one of his dreams too is to like speak at a men's conference because of all the stuff that he's gone through. So maybe a marriage conference
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is like what is in our future. Hey, maybe God works in mysterious ways. I can always see it coming.
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Maybe the Holy Ghost just planted a seed right here and now.
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That would be cool. I'm not going to lie. It is. It's needed.
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Marriage is important. I feel like it is the base of every single situation. And when two parents decide to
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stick it out and stay together even through the hard times and their kids, you get to enjoy your kids, their kids,
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and even maybe hopefully your great grandkids.
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That's seen and that's infectious and that is, you know, the way that it's supposed to
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be done because that's his design and that's the most beautiful picture that anyone could ever want. People just don't know it.
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I agree. It gets greener on the other side. 100%.
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We all looked at marriage like a grueling mudrun obstacle course that we're running and then you finish it.
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You're going to celebrate together.
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Yeah. Like Yeah.
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So, my husband and I I think that you said you and your husband get in screaming matches sometimes.
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No, we don't. We So, we argue, but we don't scream at each other.
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No, no, no. Cuz it's I think it's healthy to argue, and there's so many people that think that's like a red flag. I think it's healthy to like disagree on things. We just don't scream
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at each other when we're arguing. We like talk like this. And he'll be like, "Stop arguing with me." And I'm like, "I'm talking to you."
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Oh, well, okay. Well, my husband is screaming at me and I'm talking like normal, trying to keep him calm.
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But it's a screaming match all the same.
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You know it it we argue. So we've been married for 40 years. Sometimes you got to argue to get to the point. But it
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doesn't mean you are it. It's never that the point is divorce. The point is to get through the thing and figure out how
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you can compromise or how you can come together or how you can see eye to eye or how you were seeing things differently
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and maybe it wasn't even differently and now you've got it worked out, you know, and you're seeing it the same. There's hundred scenarios, but
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well, and dad's natural voice is just loud. My husband is loud. That's so funny.
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But you know, 40 years is an accomplishment and 100%.
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You and your husband, have you been married for seven?
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We had our seven year anniversary yesterday, but we've been together 11. Thank you. You've been together for how long? 11.
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That's an accomplishment.
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Well, my husband said yesterday, "We've been together longer than any of our parents' marriages."
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Which I was like, "Go us." Yes. Go you.
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That is, you know, people should celebrate. I feel like after 10 years, every year needs to be celebrated. Yeah.
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You know, I don't know how it goes with the um anniversaries. I know there's like I don't like each year is something I'm
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like I think after 10 years every year is a vacation and you should just celebrate anyways because you should be celebrating your
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love on a day that like you get to remember.
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You should and it's it's great. I love anniversaries and I love marriage and
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yeah it's all good stuff. Well, I am gonna get with you and I'll think up some really good marriage topics that we can discuss.
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That would be fun. I think that'll be helpful, too. I would love that.
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All right. It was very nice talking to you. Have a good night. You, too. Thank you.

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